Is it normal to miss your booty call?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
