I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
We were destined to go to rehab together
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
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