Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Alive.
So much puke
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
