and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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