nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
