I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
