I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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