Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize