Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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