I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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