I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
