Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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