I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
