i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
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I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
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after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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