I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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