He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
