it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
