It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
