1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
