how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
