I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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