so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
