it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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