I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
its liver damage thursday
Randomize