guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
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