No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
