it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
