dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
