they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
