ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
