I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
