is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
