He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
