No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
