Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
