there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
