i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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