Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
