those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
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im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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