fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
