I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
