I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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