I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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