I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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