I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
