I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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