Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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