What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The air was thick with penises
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
