Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
