he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Randomize
