so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
