at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
someone owes me an orgasm
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
false alarm, still single
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