Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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