so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
