Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
