Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
