I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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