y did u give ur computer a hand job?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Life is so much better after having sex.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
