She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
