you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
