so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
no. you can't hotbox the world.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
