Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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