I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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