come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
