you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She needs sedatives and a leash
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
