He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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