Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
