i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize