apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
